Greeting A New Pirate Wanna Be

“Welcome aboard!!  Here’s yer bunk, I put the herbs in fer ye this time, next time ye’ll need t’be askin’ me.  But there’ll fresh herbs added every fortnight.”  *lifting my eye-patch, and fanning the area underneath*

“Nay, there’s nowt wrong wi’ my eye, ’tis a trick I learned long ago.  If ye wear a patch on yer weaker eye all o’ th’ time, an’ flip it back as ye’re diving in t’board another vessel, ye’ll already be seein’ in the dark frae th’ eye what is under th’ patch.

“If’n y’see a pirate wi’ a scar under his patch yu c’n know that he doesna pirate any more.  Why?  Accause he hasna th’ vision, it is summat t’do wi’ seein’ th’ deep.  Ye must hae both eyes t’ know hae close ye are t’things around ye.  If ye only hae the one eye, ye canna see that an’ ye might end up in th’ Briny Blue, an’ that is but a wee step frae’ Davvy Jones’ Locker!”

“Let me ask ye a question, how many time hae ye been t’sea afore this?”

“None, how aboot on freshwater climes?”

“None at’all?”

“Do ye know hae t’swim?”

“Holy Neptune’s Trident!!”

“Nay, ye’ve not done aught wrong, I am impressed a’ how quickly yer’ comin’ by yer sealegs. Impressed and more than a wee bit curious as tae yer story.  How in all drops o’ water in th’ocean did ye come t’be on a Pirate Ship?  An’ e’en more…”

*lowering my voice*  “What the blinkin’ hell is a member o’ th’ Royalty doin’ here??”

“I willna tell anyone, ‘cept fer the Captain.  Why?  ‘Tis her boat we’re sailin’ on, we’d best show her our respect while we’re aboard.  She is strong, courgeous, an’ verra smart, Is our Cap!”

“Noo, back tae th’ last question I asked ye?  Not now lad, when ye’re ready tae tell me, that’ll be soon enow.”

“But… and this is a verra important but.  th’ Cap’n an I will both need tae know who tae tell, should anythin’ happen tae ye.  Accourse we would, there are only freemen aboard The Calabar Felonway.  They may hae been a slave somewhere along their road tae’ here.  Once they board this lady they’re a free man.  The Cap’n’ don’ hold wi’ a man ownin’ another man.  Also, from here on out, Ye’ll be Sea-Legs Pete, ’cause ye’re findin’ ‘em sae fast.”

“We canna be usin’ ye’re real name at all, nowheres-like. If’n some low pirates was t’hear who ye really are, they’d want tae kidnap ye fer th’ ransom, they would!”

*laughing heartily*

“I hae seen enow o’ Courty fold-de-rol t’know th’ dances y’must master.  Ye’re doin’ it wi’oot knowin’ it.  I, mesel’, hae seen ye lift a missin’ handkerchief tae yer nose, near ten times already.  Watch an’ listen, an’ if ye’re no sure o’ somethin’, why ye need only ask me, I’ll nowt steer ye a bad course.”

“Nay, ye jist need tae… disguise it a wee bit.”

*demonstrating a variation on the handkerchief motion that blended with the body languages around us*

“If ye keep yer eyes open, there’re more’n a few o’ th’ younger sons what sail wi’ this lady.”

“There was a lad frae th’ Far Eastern climes, he were a younger son an’ were servin wi’ us.  I had asked him who tae write to, an’ he tol’ me.  He also sent a letter to his family t’tell ‘em he were alive an’ where his feet were walkin’ th’deck.”

“It weren’t more’n’ ten months later we put in at home port, an’ there were a talkin’ wire letter what told ‘im his older brother had died in battle, and he was now the eldest son and it were his duty tae go home.”

“When Cap’ heard that, she hooked him up as a passenger wi’ a boat bound fer his home port.  He weren’t wi’ us long, but he learned much while he was here.  I heard frae another ship, what heard it frae a fabric merchant, who was in th’ Princes country; an’ he heard the common folk say wi’ pride that their new King was a good, and just King.  Many went on tae say that they were having the Life O’ Riley under his Kingship.”

“So ye see, Fate will hae some amazin’ twist and turns fer ye, what ye do with it is the measure of a man.”

“Many o’ th’ common men who serve our Lass hae had lives s’turrible that ye wonder how they manage to look another man in th’ eye.  When ye look at their deeds ye’ll see what they done wi’ their share o’ th’ sorrows.”

“Now I’ll stop preachin’-like, but I will ask ye t’ follow me t’ th’ Mess.  Ye canna be a pirate wi’oot yer skin t’drink frae while on duty!!”

“Aye, them as are runnin frae summat at home can be guaranteed t’ fergit summat.  I keep a wee stock o’ things aside fer jist that.  Nay, ye dinnae need t’pay until th’ voyage is done.  By then ye’ll know the worth of it, an’ ye know better what tae pay fer it.”

“Me??  I’m no’ waitin’ t’claim a Throne, or any sort of inheritance.  This is where m’spirit is lad, here on the decks an’ riggin’s o’ th’ Calabar.”

*offering a skin full to bulging with grog*

“I know it isna th’ fine wines ye’re used tae, but come a cold night on watch ye’ll not miss yer wine one whit, and ye’ll mourn t’the Heavens if ye loose yer skin o’ grog.”

“Now off wi’ lad, so’s ye can learn t’be a pirate!”

by Gwen Myers